My grandmother in WWII
I’m struggling…A LOT….
Up until this point, I’ve resisted writing about our present crisis until I had something meaningful to say other than platitudes and clichés. But I’ve been hearing from a lot of women how they are struggling (and I am too). I am a woman in her 50’s who has 2 parents in their 80’s, one who has mild Alzheimer, a small startup business as her sole income and 4 boys, 2 who are still in high school. I am someone who has generalized anxiety that is punctuated with menopause and I find myself in paralyzing moments: heart races, not being able to move, shortness of breath with a prayer that my next breath is a deep one. ………….
I am NOT alone. Everyone is struggling!
We’re in uncharted territory. Our lives may not have been perfect pre-COVID, but at least they were predictable.
No one knows what the future holds and anyone pretending to know- is just that – pretending.
I keep thinking back to the stories my mom told me when she grew up in the great depression. During WWII she lived in NYC and they had to pull black curtains over their windows at night so if there was an attack at night the enemy planes couldn’t see the lighted buildings and houses.
One evening a rogue plane appeared over the skyline of NYC. Loud, blaring sirens sounded, and my mom was thrust under a table by my grandmother. FEAR surrounded my mom and grandmother with blackness as the city determined if the plane was friendly or not. Once the plane was determined “friendly” the sirens stopped but fear still stayed. My grandmother with my mom’s hand in hers crawled from underneath the table and lead her to the piano. She started to play as she was determined to bring safety back to her daughter and to herself. She created a moment of light that pushed the darkness away.
Now more than ever, it is important to practice the Power of Now. To focus on the minute literally that you are in NOW.